Exactly three years after moving into San Diego State University, I am back to visit. I dropped out after two semesters to travel the world and to see all that it had to offer. I want to start this post out by saying that I do not regret any decisions I have made, but there have definitely been moments of questioning my choices and doubting them.
Before arriving to San Diego a few days ago, I was nervous. So nervous. I was petrified I was going to see all of my friends who are still here, about to graduate, and it would make me devastated. I was so worried I was going to feel like a failure because I had not stayed to finish my degree,as most of my friends had done.
On my third day in, I finally decided I was ready to walk around campus. Wandering down familiar roads, passing buildings I used to dread walking into, I am full of emotion. All emotions were rushing through my body; I was bittersweet.
The things people have said to me about dropping out were circling through my head.
“Only people with degrees are successful.”
” You will regret missing out on the college experience.”
The list goes on and on…
I have always had pretty tough skin, and don’t let other peoples opinions affect me, especially their opinions on my life. But, if I were to say that I wasn’t considering what they said to be true, I would be lying.
Did I make a bad decision, abandoning my education to travel?
Absolutely not.
I will repeat that again. I absolutely did not make a bad decision deciding to put my schooling on the back burner, while pursuing what my soul truly longed for. Throughout the entirety of my life, I have dreamed of experiencing the world and seeing/experiencing everything one could possibly see/experience.
I get to travel freely around the world, and most of the time, that is with the love of my life. What more could I ever ask for? I am utterly living the life I have always dreamed about.
My time is running out. As strange as it may sound, I’ve always felt like my timer was ticking a bit faster than everyone else’s. My time always feels like it is coming to an end. The biggest fear of mine is running out of time to do everything I want to do. This is a major reason I decided to leave San Diego State University.
One year here seemed like plenty enough time. I felt I experienced enough to move onto my next adventure. Yes, I left my education unfinished. But, I had the most sincere urge in the bottom of my heart telling me it was time to leave. I get this feeling often, and listen to it 100% of the time. I knew it was time to leave, and move onto the next chapter of my life. So I listened, and I left sunny California.
Now, for the first time, I have returned to visit. I won’t contest it, it has been tough seeing my friends and where I could have been if I had stayed in school in San Diego. The feeling of being the black sheep has returned to me; a feeling I have always been so familiar with. In fact, I am more comfortable feeling like the black sheep than holding the feeling of fitting in.
Of course walking around the SDSU campus is going to spark exceptional memories and make me miss it. And let me tell you, I miss this place and the people here more than anything. But above all, my walk around campus this morning has brought me back to the confidence in myself I had when I first decided to leave two years ago. I know in my heart, that the choice I made for myself was the right one.
Despite the negative comments everyone decides to give me about my decision, I am content knowing that I listened to my heart and decided to respect my personal needs. Society has a way of making you feel unsuccessful, if you do not follow the standard path, regardless of what you are feeling is right to do for yourself.
I applaud the courage behind the people who decide to break out of societies norms and commit to obtaining the life that is best fit for their needs. Cheers to the people who aren’t afraid of not being accepted by the majority of the people surrounding them.
So, if you ask me… I am a college drop out, and I’m pretty damn proud of it. I don’t regret a thing, nor do I owe anybody a thing. This is my life, and I intend to live everyday accordingly.
Yes 👏🏼 Bitch 👏🏼